Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Overcoming the Paranoia Plague and Other Victories

I love to write in public, usually on the train to and from work. I am more productive because I don't have Internet access, and people are around. I feel the need to work, to be doing something. I can do 400 words each way.

One problem I deal with is paranoia. I fear over-the-shoulder readers. To guard my writing against these evil spies-that may or may not actually exist-I zoom out...a lot. If no one is next to me, I zoom out to 80%. Easy to read for me, but enough to thwart those devious passengers with stretchy necks.

If someone is next to me and they are occupied (reading a book, the Metro or playing angry birds) I zoom out to 70%. I do have to squint, but it's distinguishable text.

And if the person next to me has boarded with no distraction, some part of me assumes their eyes will linger to my open word document. They'll read, they'll judge, they might even ask me about it and that, that is just too frightening. I zoom out to 60%.

No amount of squinting makes this text easy to read. This sounds crazy. It is. If I am writing it's fine. I don't need to read the text. I just write.

Today, I was editing. When a guy sat down next to me, sans book, sans paper, sans Tetris or Solitaire on his phone, I paused. If I zoomed out, I would struggle to see what I am editing. So, I left it. I did glance up periodically, to be sure I was not being watched.

It didn't take long for me to be sucked into the edits and forget all about my paranoia.

Which brings me to my edits.

I am in this glowing place with the editing process.

Welcome to the Glowing Place
They are going really well. There is a lot to perfect but I feel great about the changes. Mostly they are cosmetic, restructuring sentences and things. I haven't altered much plot yet. Nonetheless, I feel great.

Not only did I overcome my silly paranoia, for now I see that is what is was-pure silliness-I also am progressing with my story.

I wanted to blog about this magical feeling. You see, there are dark days ahead. Plot holes I can't see now, but will undoubtedly suck me under to a place no writer speaks of. Hopefully, this post will taunt remind me, I will find the Glowing Place again. If I am patient.

1 comment:

  1. Congrats on overcoming the paranoia :)
    Sadly, the paranoia still plagues me, haha. I can't help but scan the entire coffee shop when I'm writing and I can't concentrate! It's frustrating.